Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize