You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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