She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize