sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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