He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
