A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize