I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
