if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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