Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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