She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
