you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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