Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
