i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
