Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
