I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
