Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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