Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
