Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
