Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
