oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize