Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
