I hate all girls vehemently.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
operation have a gay friend backfired
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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