It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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