That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
