you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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