you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
