Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
3pm strippers are depressing
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
