there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
