hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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