I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I wear drunk well.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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