): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
