do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
