seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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