Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
