i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
