Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
3 2 1 whiskey
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
