WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
