help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
