My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
