She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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