This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
