You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
