Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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