either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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