you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
