If i come over, it means nothing
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Come on in and take your pants off
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