I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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