i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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