And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
