Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
