Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
