i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
