"it" just moved
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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