"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
