My hand turned me down
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
