he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
