So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
