Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
