I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
