bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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