So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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