Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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