Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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